Must-Read for the Lawrence Community

Brian Pertl (Lawrence's new, creative, thoughtful, reflective, kind, talented Dean of the Conservatory) recently wrote a blog post that is a must-read for all in the Lawrence Community. Please read it now (or at the earliest convenience in your very busy schedule :)).

[Thanks, PG, for the heads up on the post.]

Walking my Talk

As I've mentioned before, I have a group of about 50 people to whom I regularly email "Mindfulness Messages"--passages I've recently read that have spoken to me in a deep or personal way. Here is a recent quote I sent:

"Telling someone to rest, to stop doing, while you are racing by and doing more is not effective. How we live with what is determines what ripples out into the world, determines whether or not our touching others will allow them to experience a moment of their own essential stillness and the peace and meaning this stillness holds."
--Oriah Mountain Dreamer, From "The Call: Discovering Why You Are Here"

More often than I like to think, I'm the person telling others to rest, rejuvenate, and say "no" while I continue (in certain ways) to do, not be. It's still easy for me to get caught up in "doing mode" (I consider "doing mode" to be a space where I no longer enjoy--and am no longer present with--the task/activity I'm performing). These days I'm more aware that I'm in "doing mode," but this awareness doesn't always pull me out. The allure of getting lots of things done takes me into "doing mode," thinking I'll be happy when I'm finished. Inevitably, though, when I'm finished I feel unhappy--tense, anxious, and not authentic.

I know "doing mode" is part of human nature, so I try to forgive myself, chuckle, and move on. Recently, I've started each work day by prioritizing the 2-4 things that must be done that day (either because they are necessary for some aspect of my job or for my well-being). Then I try not to get sucked into the vortex of the 15 other small to-do items that look so appealing, yet I know will take me into "doing mode." For me, email is an easy way to fall into that vortex. So I'm trying to check email fewer times during the day. And I'm trying to more regularly take time (even just a minute) to breathe, stretch, and just "be" while at the office.

These are my biggest struggles at work recently. Do others find themselves in similar situations? I share all this because I want to be honest about what is still difficult for me (even after making many positive, healthful changes in my life). We're all on evolving paths that naturally have ups and downs. Nobody has "all their shit together" (some may appear to outwardly, but we all have struggles). It's important to remember we're in this together. Often our ego tries to isolate us while we struggle (this gives ego, fear, and anxiety more space to grow), but it's community, sharing, and generosity (among others things) that can bring us back.

I open this space for anyone who wants to share their current struggles or their current joys.

Mindfulness Message to Accompany Last Post

In my last post, I wrote how each person must find his/her own way (but we can come together as a community to offer support for each other and pose interesting questions). The quote below encapsulates well my thoughts on finding and navigating our own paths.



"One morning, shaking my head at the length of my journey to discover the truth in something I had been told years before, I think to myself, 'Does each of us have to reinvent the wheel?' Even as the question comes I know the answer is yes. Yes, each of us needs to experience the truth for ourselves, each of us needs to follow our own path to self-realization even though the self we realize is in essence identical to and not truly separate from all others. There is simply no way to get there except by going through the process yourself."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, From "The Call: Discovering Why You Are Here"

Clarification of Last Post and Call for More Counter-Culture Comments

After my last blog post, a student wrote a thoughtful and important comment (please check it out). To all my readers, I sincerely apologize if my posts ever seem heavy-handed. Truly, it is not my intention to tell anyone how to live their lives. We all must find our own personal paths and honor these paths. My posts are meant to simply spark reflection and thought about things we all might want to consider, even if we're on completely different paths.

As I've said before, some people really thrive and are happy when they work hard, do things well, and maintain a busy schedule. I don't judge or question that lifestyle. My main point is for us all -- including myself -- to live an examined (not an unexamined) life. I think it's helpful for us to often ask ourselves where we are on our current path and if things seem to be working well. The examples I give from my life are only examples -- that is, they are not a prescription of what everyone should do. We all must take stock of our lives (and what "balance" means to us) and make our own individual way (which can take different forms for different people).

Furthermore, if self-care and balance and reflection ever feel like more to-do items, then that's a clear sign to step away and rethink things (I know this from personal experience -- last summer I struggled at times with my meditation becoming another to-do item and this was definitely a source of suffering for me). If reading this blog becomes a to-do item and source of judgment of how your life isn't in balance, then I suggest you stop reading and start listening to your own inner voice. I'm not at all offended if you must step away from my posts in order to find your authentic path (in fact, I encourage this!).

This all said, I'd still love to hear counter-culture comments (see my last post if you're not sure what this means). Remember, your counter-culture comments might be very different from mine and that's just fine.

Be Proud of a Balanced Life

I've written a lot about life balance, including adding more stillness, pause, reflection, creativity, and love in our often busy lives. Unfortunately (in my eyes), sometimes overwork seems to be a badge of honor here at Lawrence (amongst both students and faculty). People proudly talk about working long hours, keeping a plethora of balls in the air, and sacrificing personal time in order to check one more thing off the to-do list.

I would love to start a counter-culture here at Lawrence. A culture that takes its work seriously, yet says "no" to things that begin to infringe on personal time and growth; a culture that works hard, yet also "plays" hard; a culture that is proud of taking downtime and creating a simpler life; a culture that doesn't pretend it can healthfully and sustainably "do it all" and "do it all perfectly."

I'll start: I proudly make time for 5-6 workouts a week (me time, de-stress time) and for a weekly massage (how decadent!); I proudly try to work as few weekends as possible, so I can spend quality time with myself, my husband, and my friends; I proudly close my office door and even ignore knocks if I need alone time or I need to focus on my work; I proudly try to simplify the commitments in my life (I say "no," so I can genuinely say "yes" to the things most precious to me); I proudly spend 5 weeks of each sabbatical with my husband on a small island in the Caribbean (reading books, taking walks on the beach, meditating, and relaxing).

Would anyone else like to join me? Please post counter-culture comments. Let's proudly say "yes" to a balanced life!

Disclaimer: As you probably know if you read my blog often, this is not an exercise in being proud of skipping class regularly, blowing off commitments, or standing up a friend. In addition to being proud of the things mentioned above, I'm also proud of how committed and passionate I am about teaching, how organized I am as a department/committee chairperson, etc. But I'm just as proud of the steps I've taken to lead a more balanced life.